EMPLOYMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

(By Doug L. Miller, KU Academic Computer Center, circa 1990)

Answer the following questions with a "yes" or "no". To do this, you may circle a "Y"or an "N", but not both. A "yes" answer is worth the stated number of points, while a "no" answer is worth nothing.

1. (20 points) Do you have a college degree? Y / N
2. (1 point) Do you have the slightest idea of what you’re doing with a computer? Y / N
3. (0.5 points) Do you already work at the computer center? Y / N
4. (15 points) Can you get along with John Seitz? Y / N
5. (100 points) I like working in an insane bureaucracy in which pay raise actually means pay cut, in which I am the target of every penny-ante politico in the legislature with an axe to grind, in a state that regards education as the unfortunate by-product of the need to grow wheat. Y / N
6. (50 points) I am fully reconciled to the irrelevancy of actually getting any work done in the face of the necessity of keeping my backside covered. Y / N
7. (25 points) I love it when the monkey is on my back. After all, if it weren’t on my back, it would be on someone else’s. Y / N
8. (75 points) The only way to run an organization managing one of the principal devices of high technology is in a labyrinthine and Byzantine manner. Y / N
9. (50 points) I like to eat. Y / N
10. (10 points) If wishes were computers, then I’ll get the machine and software I need. Y / N
11. (50 points) I’d love to work with one of the biggest packs of nerds in the state. Y / N
12. (5 points) I don’t mind drinking water when the soft drink machine is jammed. Y / N
13. (12 points) A cheap, hot lunch is not necessary (I really don’t mind the lack of a microwave). Y / N
14. (10 points) Poverty improves my character. Y / N
15. (2 points) I never listen to rumors about my fellow employees and supervisors. I acknowledge that their cheap affairs with one another are their own concern. Y / N