Nov. 23, 1963

Alone
in that same self where I always was
with Kennedy throat brain bloodied in Texas
the television continuous blinking two radar days
with Charlie muttering in his underwear strewn bedroom
with Neal running down the hall shouting about the ractetrack
with Ann with her white boys ass silent under the Cupid thigh
with Lucille talking to herself, feeding the pregnant cat Alice
with Anne mourning her packmarked womb & the hard muscled chest of her Lover
with David's red wine fireplace casting shadows back to the Duchess farmboy
     faggot of Wichita, on fire in mainstreet
with Lance with his crummy painting & leopard blue breast seeking to buy
     a motorcycle to crosscountry smiling & wan
with the manuscripts of neutritious Roselle the New York suicide on the
     round mohagany table near the kitchen	 
with Leroi Jones white eyeballed war-cry unread, bubbling in postmortem
     blue-sneer
with myself confused shock-fingertip't on the rented typewriter
with Alan with horses teeth metafysiks demurely insisting he was intensely
     so over coffee
with Glen o'the lisp & Justin the olding bluejacketed man love off in autos
     to Mexico cactus hope
with the fat lady with babe in the auto, feeding & grieving her adolescence's
     backseat
with "Go to Hell" spoke on the streetcorner down the hill in the dark of
     November night
with Judy's blood in the furnace building up weeks before in the campus-forests
     in the headlines of white-haired parents on Television
with Christopher running around in raincoats talking fast about his
     eyesockets seeing true streets of '60s
with Jaime phoning collect from New York insulting his lonesome Cunt
with Nemmie insisting she was drunk & insulting on the couch, & Marko with
     a bandaged tendon hanging in front of his gaptooth
with Hubert in beret & tweed beard absolutely sober on Meth-freak newpaper-
     splatter rorschak universe, drinking milk, 		 	 	 	 	 	 	 
with Jordan on the phone suave & retired jobing invisible mandalas upstairs
     from the technicolor gutter
with Larry whitehaired chewing his teeth nodding in chairs weak & amiable
     lost the pointlesness	 		   
with the cat curled in white fur in the kitchen chair,
with the transistor radio silent weeks on the typewriter desk,
with the novels of Happiness Bastard Sheeper from Tanger Wichita Mad Cub
     Yesterday Today & Tomorrow
with Now, with Fuck You, with Wild Dog Burning Bush Poetry Ever Green C
     Thieves Journal Soft Machine Genesis Renaissnance Contact Kill Roy Etc,
with spaniards appearing at the doors to know what's happening you wanna score
     or am I the sacred fear the methhead fuzz the insect trust or delicious Jose
with Robert in his black jacket & tie deciding to make a point of his courtesy
     over the kitchen linoleum
with the Ghosts of Natalie & Peter & Krishna & Ram intoned on the shag rugs
     in the darkness of abandoned rooms
with Blue Grace in typescript stepping out of the taxi on the wall, and letters
     arriving from Malaga & Chicago
with me breaking off to rush in to the other room where Adam & Eve lay
     to get my hair spermy.

    	 	 	 	 
(2010 draft sic as printed in Now Now) 


Nov. 23, 1963
by Allen Ginsberg

Alone
in that same self where I always was
with Kennedy throat brain bloodied in Texas
the television continuous blinking two radar days
with Charlie [Plymell] muttering in his underwear strewn bedroom
with Neal [Cassady] running down the hall shouting about the ractetrack
with Ann [Buchanan Plymell] with her white boys ass silent under the Cupid thigh
with Lucille talking to herself, feeding the pregnant cat Alice
with Anne [Murphy] mourning her packmarked womb & the hard muscled chest of her Lover
with David's [Haselwood] red wine fireplace casting shadows back to the Duchess farmboy
     faggot of Wichita, on fire in mainstreet
with Lance with his crummy painting & leopard blue breast seeking to buy
     a motorcycle to crosscountry smiling & wan
with the manuscripts of neutritious Roselle the New York suicide on the
     round mohagany table near the kitchen	 
with Leroi Jones white eyeballed war-cry unread, bubbling in postmortem
     blue-sneer
with myself confused shock-fingertip't on the rented typewriter
with Alan [Russo] with horses teeth metafysiks demurely insisting he was intensely
     so over coffee
with Glen[n] [Todd] o'the lisp & Justin [Hein] the olding bluejacketed man love off in autos
     to Mexico cactus hope
with the fat lady [Maggie] with babe in the auto, feeding & grieving her adolescence's
     backseat
with "Go to Hell" spoke on the streetcorner down the hill in the dark of
     November night
with Judy's blood in the furnace building up weeks before in the campus-forests
     in the headlines of white-haired parents on Television
with Christopher running around in raincoats talking fast about his
     eyesockets seeing true streets of '60s
with Jaime phoning collect from New York insulting his lonesome Cunt
with Nemmie insisting she was drunk & insulting on the couch, & Marko with
     a bandaged tendon hanging in front of his gaptooth
with Hubert [Hunke?] in beret & tweed beard absolutely sober on Meth-freak newpaper-
     splatter rorschak universe, drinking milk, 		 	 	 	 	 	 	 
with Jordan on the phone suave & retired jobing invisible mandalas upstairs
     from the technicolor gutter
with Larry [Ferlinghetti] whitehaired chewing his teeth nodding in chairs weak & amiable
     lost the pointlesness	 		   
with the cat curled in white fur in the kitchen chair,
with the transistor radio silent weeks on the typewriter desk,
with the novels of Happiness Bastard Sheeper from Tanger Wichita Mad Cub [Michael McClure]
     Yesterday Today & Tomorrow
with Now [Charley Plymell], with Fuck You, with Wild Dog Burning Bush Poetry Ever Green C
     Thieves Journal Soft Machine Genesis Renaissnance Contact Kill Roy Etc,
with spaniards appearing at the doors to know what's happening you wanna score
     or am I the sacred fear the methhead fuzz the insect trust or delicious Jose
with Robert [LaVigne] in his black jacket & tie deciding to make a point of his courtesy
     over the kitchen linoleum
with the Ghosts of Natalie & Peter [Orlovsky] & Krishna & Ram intoned on the shag rugs
     in the darkness of abandoned rooms
with Blue Grace in typescript stepping out of the taxi on the wall, and letters
     arriving from Malaga & Chicago
with me breaking off to rush in to the other room where Adam & Eve lay
     to get my hair spermy.